CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Well.....we did it!

We hit the shops running today......well, not quite running but slinking along trying to ignore the pain in my hip joints, the numbness in my arms, the burning heat in the back of my neck, and the weariness and fatigue that had been dragging me down ever lower all week.

And yes.....it was a great success! I am ALMOST finished! I say almost because, until the shops actually close on Christmas Eve, I will be convinced there's something else to get, someone I've forgotten in this festive season.

This year will be different though. I promise. I owe it to ME to make it different.

Now that the shopping is 95% complete, I will gift wrap my purchases - they will be neatly stacked and ready for delivery. I will write my cards THIS week - they will be mailed and on their way.

In the shops today people jostled, rushed about, bought impluse purchases for friends and loved ones. I just wonder how many of those selected gifts will be returned for exchange and refund - how much of our time and money have we spent shopping for people who have no real needs, and who know how much we love them all year through without us presenting them with gifts at Christmas.

I think of God's gift to us - the greatest gift ever given - HIS SON, the Lord Jesus Christ. The world is not jostling today, rushing, crushing, heaving through the crowds to receive this gift. And yet God has GIVEN His Son, freely, that we might become His children. He has made a way that we might be one with Him. A gift freely given, out of love, truly from the heart of God and yet the world rejects Him. Oh how we must hurt the very heart of God - HE LOVED, HE GAVE. As I consider the true meaning of Christmas admidst all the jostle and bustle of commercialism I can be thankful that Jesus is mine - this gift from the very heart of God and I am one with Him. Thank you Jesus.

THE VOICE OF PAIN....a poem

THE VOICE OF PAIN

Yes, it has a voice
Sometimes just a whisper
To let me know it's there -
A gentle, nudging reminder
That my body's not my own.

Yes, it has a voice
That I can hear so clear
Speaking through the darkness
As if to reinforce
That my body's not my own.

Yes, it has a voice
Through gritted teeth it snarls
While speaking to my soul
Of what I know full well
That my body's not my own.

Yes, it has a voice
A loud and screeching cry
That pierces through the night
Telling every limb
That my body's not my own.

Yes, I hear pain's voice.

But hush, be silent, pain be still,
I hear a loving voice
Gently calling through the storm
Telling body, spirit, soul,
That I am HIS - and He is mine.

I hear my Saviour's voice!

PROGRESS REPORT

Well....just look at these little darlings....




















These are the same geraniums from several weeks back. At that time they were serving up breakfast, lunch and dinner for an extended family of caterpillars, who I reckon must've been eating until they were fit to burst!

I had thought I had rooted out all the hungry little diners but some obviously remained lurking somewhere out of sight and continued to feast merrily.

A severe cutting back was required, lots of pruning and constant close inspection and WOW!... how it has paid off!

I'm praying the Lord will do the same in MY life.....
keep me under His close supervision, root out all the destructive qualities which I have allowed to take up residence, prune back that which is unattractive, displeasing and dishonoring to Him, remove the deadwood and cause me to BLOSSOM IN FULL FLOWER FOR HIM.

PAINFUL PROGRESS

These were my geranium pots just a couple of months ago - lush green leaves, fresh vibrant healthy flowers, and countless new buds to last the summer through. I've had these particular plants for a number of years now, and I've lovingly tended and cared for them each year, constantly deadheading throughout the flowering season, pruning back and making sure they had shelter and protection from the cold winter winds and frosts.
I have been dead-heading, watering and feeding them through these flowering weeks but I suppose I just haven't been as observant as I should. The past few days there were some tell-tale signs which I chose not to act upon...leaves appearing here and there with little chunks missing...gradually the damage becoming more apparent. Finally today I carried out a closer inspection....there they were...caterpillar after caterpillar after caterpillar!

Ruthless action was called for - all the damage had to be cut away - flowers, leaves, stems, anything showing signs of the bugs - even healthy growth which had the offending invaders lodging on them.

The Lord spoke to me today of how often He must carry out the same painful work in our lives. Something seemingly harmless flies into our lives - just like a pretty butterfly - we take it on board, give it lodging room in our hearts, unawares of the damage to be caused once it has been resident a while. Often things, people and attitudes must be pruned out of our lives and, painful though it may be, we have the assurance that our Heavenly Father loves us will always work for our good.

I know that by cutting back even the healthy leaves and flowers today, I will in time have a much healthier and more productive plant. So it is when the Lord works in our lives - at present we see only the pain but He knows the end result, He knows what He is working towards, and He will work out His perfect plan in our lives

LESS PROGRESS - MORE PAIN

Some of you asked for updates on my geranium post 'PAINFUL PROGRESS'? Well, the update is NOT positive! I carried out a little geranium examination today and there, lurking where it could hardly be seen....a massive offending caterpillar! Okay, the last time I checked he was there - I know that NOW - he was probably a tiny egg stowed away on a leaf fold or perhaps just a minute speck of green right before my very eyes, large enough to exist but small enough to go unnoticed. Thing is HE was not alone - I ended up finding 4 invaders!

So yes, it was back to more cutting. You know, I thought I was ruthless in my cutting last time - problem is, I still wanted a pretty plant so I kept what I could. I had retained just enough leaves and flowers to harbour those pesky intruders and of course the damage is evident again.



Oh how I need the Lord - the cleansing of my heart is very much an on-going process. How very close I need to be walking with Him, that I might be aware of that which displeases Him in my life and allow Him to root it out. When I attempt to 'pretty' myself all I do is fail and show myself up for what I really am - the pruning is HIS work....and HE makes NO mistakes.

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION LORD

- WORKING - BUSY - RUSHING - BUSY - CROWDING - BUSY - SHOPPING - BUSY - FUSSING - BUSY -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - F I B R O M Y A L G I A - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

REST - WAIT - PEACE - BE STILL - REST - WAIT - PEACE - BE STILL - REST - WAIT - PEACE - BE STILL


O how our ways differ from our Lord's. HIS ways are not OUR ways. He has plans and purposes for our lives that we cannot begin to imagine, and sometimes He has to choose a painful route to interrupt OUR plans and get our attention.

Our lives are busy, always on the go, endless activity, achieving, organising, making the most of every minute of every day in our 'doing'. And yes, often our 'doing' is FOR God. But is this really what He wants, what He desires for us above all else?

If we look into His word, surely He exhorts us to:
'WAIT' Psalm 27 v 14
'REST' Psalm 37 v 7
'COME APART' Mark 6 v 31
'TRUST' Psalm 4 v 5

Oh yes, we can be busy FOR Him, doing FOR Him...the Lord is getting our activity, our busyness but is He getting US? Are we fellowshipping with Him? Does He have our quality time.... come to think of it does He have ANY of our time? Can we even hear His voice in the midst of our activities and restless strivings?

As I look into His word I see that He calls us apart, unto Himself, to rest with Him, lie on His breast and be at peace.
Only now do I see and accept God's purposes in these conditions and restrictions placed upon me. I have resented my inactivity, my enforced resting....but now I am beginning to rejoice in it. Not because of it or for it but IN IT. I see that God has brought me to a place with Him where I am required to 'come apart', 'rest', 'wait patiently' and 'trust'.
I considered myself and my life blessed when I enjoyed good health and boundless energy......this does not even begin to compare with the blessings He has now bestowed upon me in this chronic condition which I believe He has allowed into my life to achieve His own purposes - ultimately to draw me apart into a closer relationship with Him.
How I resented my sleeplessness night after night - but He has brought me to see it as time that I can spend with Him - while all the town sleeps He and I can commune with no distractions.
In the stillness of night I have enjoyed renewed fellowship with Him - recommitting my life to Him and seeking Him in a way I haven't done in years.
This has NOT been an overnight revelation.... I am stubborn, rebellious, slow to accept change, reluctant to move from my comfort zone, and...... it would appear I have hearing difficulties - the Lord must speak loud and slowly to me.....perhaps it's just that my ears and my heart have been so long closed to His voice. But bless the Lord o my soul! HE KNOWS ME better than I know myself and He is patient! I have been slow to respond but He has been patient with me...and in this very period of my life has brought me to His best for me.

Can YOU hear His voice, is He calling you apart?
I now believe this is His purpose for me - if fibromyalgia is His way of getting me to come and settle at His feet, rest awhile with Him, hear His voice, put my trust only in Him, then I have to say.... 'so be it Lord' and thankyou for YOUR plans and I leave YOU to work them out in YOUR way.

FOR ME .....a poem

- FOR ME -
I never stood and watched
As He was scourged and beat,
I never drove the nails
Into His hands and feet.

I didn't plait the thorns
That made that mocking crown,
I wasn't at the cross
When they took His body down.

I didn't see the soldier
As he checked if he had died,
I never sealed the tomb
Or stood on guard outside.

And yet it was my sins
That nailed Him to that tree -
God sent His only Son
To bleed and die for me.

by.....
- Linda Sloan -