CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Well.....we did it!

We hit the shops running today......well, not quite running but slinking along trying to ignore the pain in my hip joints, the numbness in my arms, the burning heat in the back of my neck, and the weariness and fatigue that had been dragging me down ever lower all week.

And yes.....it was a great success! I am ALMOST finished! I say almost because, until the shops actually close on Christmas Eve, I will be convinced there's something else to get, someone I've forgotten in this festive season.

This year will be different though. I promise. I owe it to ME to make it different.

Now that the shopping is 95% complete, I will gift wrap my purchases - they will be neatly stacked and ready for delivery. I will write my cards THIS week - they will be mailed and on their way.

In the shops today people jostled, rushed about, bought impluse purchases for friends and loved ones. I just wonder how many of those selected gifts will be returned for exchange and refund - how much of our time and money have we spent shopping for people who have no real needs, and who know how much we love them all year through without us presenting them with gifts at Christmas.

I think of God's gift to us - the greatest gift ever given - HIS SON, the Lord Jesus Christ. The world is not jostling today, rushing, crushing, heaving through the crowds to receive this gift. And yet God has GIVEN His Son, freely, that we might become His children. He has made a way that we might be one with Him. A gift freely given, out of love, truly from the heart of God and yet the world rejects Him. Oh how we must hurt the very heart of God - HE LOVED, HE GAVE. As I consider the true meaning of Christmas admidst all the jostle and bustle of commercialism I can be thankful that Jesus is mine - this gift from the very heart of God and I am one with Him. Thank you Jesus.

THE VOICE OF PAIN....a poem

THE VOICE OF PAIN

Yes, it has a voice
Sometimes just a whisper
To let me know it's there -
A gentle, nudging reminder
That my body's not my own.

Yes, it has a voice
That I can hear so clear
Speaking through the darkness
As if to reinforce
That my body's not my own.

Yes, it has a voice
Through gritted teeth it snarls
While speaking to my soul
Of what I know full well
That my body's not my own.

Yes, it has a voice
A loud and screeching cry
That pierces through the night
Telling every limb
That my body's not my own.

Yes, I hear pain's voice.

But hush, be silent, pain be still,
I hear a loving voice
Gently calling through the storm
Telling body, spirit, soul,
That I am HIS - and He is mine.

I hear my Saviour's voice!

PROGRESS REPORT

Well....just look at these little darlings....




















These are the same geraniums from several weeks back. At that time they were serving up breakfast, lunch and dinner for an extended family of caterpillars, who I reckon must've been eating until they were fit to burst!

I had thought I had rooted out all the hungry little diners but some obviously remained lurking somewhere out of sight and continued to feast merrily.

A severe cutting back was required, lots of pruning and constant close inspection and WOW!... how it has paid off!

I'm praying the Lord will do the same in MY life.....
keep me under His close supervision, root out all the destructive qualities which I have allowed to take up residence, prune back that which is unattractive, displeasing and dishonoring to Him, remove the deadwood and cause me to BLOSSOM IN FULL FLOWER FOR HIM.

PAINFUL PROGRESS

These were my geranium pots just a couple of months ago - lush green leaves, fresh vibrant healthy flowers, and countless new buds to last the summer through. I've had these particular plants for a number of years now, and I've lovingly tended and cared for them each year, constantly deadheading throughout the flowering season, pruning back and making sure they had shelter and protection from the cold winter winds and frosts.
I have been dead-heading, watering and feeding them through these flowering weeks but I suppose I just haven't been as observant as I should. The past few days there were some tell-tale signs which I chose not to act upon...leaves appearing here and there with little chunks missing...gradually the damage becoming more apparent. Finally today I carried out a closer inspection....there they were...caterpillar after caterpillar after caterpillar!

Ruthless action was called for - all the damage had to be cut away - flowers, leaves, stems, anything showing signs of the bugs - even healthy growth which had the offending invaders lodging on them.

The Lord spoke to me today of how often He must carry out the same painful work in our lives. Something seemingly harmless flies into our lives - just like a pretty butterfly - we take it on board, give it lodging room in our hearts, unawares of the damage to be caused once it has been resident a while. Often things, people and attitudes must be pruned out of our lives and, painful though it may be, we have the assurance that our Heavenly Father loves us will always work for our good.

I know that by cutting back even the healthy leaves and flowers today, I will in time have a much healthier and more productive plant. So it is when the Lord works in our lives - at present we see only the pain but He knows the end result, He knows what He is working towards, and He will work out His perfect plan in our lives

LESS PROGRESS - MORE PAIN

Some of you asked for updates on my geranium post 'PAINFUL PROGRESS'? Well, the update is NOT positive! I carried out a little geranium examination today and there, lurking where it could hardly be seen....a massive offending caterpillar! Okay, the last time I checked he was there - I know that NOW - he was probably a tiny egg stowed away on a leaf fold or perhaps just a minute speck of green right before my very eyes, large enough to exist but small enough to go unnoticed. Thing is HE was not alone - I ended up finding 4 invaders!

So yes, it was back to more cutting. You know, I thought I was ruthless in my cutting last time - problem is, I still wanted a pretty plant so I kept what I could. I had retained just enough leaves and flowers to harbour those pesky intruders and of course the damage is evident again.



Oh how I need the Lord - the cleansing of my heart is very much an on-going process. How very close I need to be walking with Him, that I might be aware of that which displeases Him in my life and allow Him to root it out. When I attempt to 'pretty' myself all I do is fail and show myself up for what I really am - the pruning is HIS work....and HE makes NO mistakes.

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION LORD

- WORKING - BUSY - RUSHING - BUSY - CROWDING - BUSY - SHOPPING - BUSY - FUSSING - BUSY -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - F I B R O M Y A L G I A - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

REST - WAIT - PEACE - BE STILL - REST - WAIT - PEACE - BE STILL - REST - WAIT - PEACE - BE STILL


O how our ways differ from our Lord's. HIS ways are not OUR ways. He has plans and purposes for our lives that we cannot begin to imagine, and sometimes He has to choose a painful route to interrupt OUR plans and get our attention.

Our lives are busy, always on the go, endless activity, achieving, organising, making the most of every minute of every day in our 'doing'. And yes, often our 'doing' is FOR God. But is this really what He wants, what He desires for us above all else?

If we look into His word, surely He exhorts us to:
'WAIT' Psalm 27 v 14
'REST' Psalm 37 v 7
'COME APART' Mark 6 v 31
'TRUST' Psalm 4 v 5

Oh yes, we can be busy FOR Him, doing FOR Him...the Lord is getting our activity, our busyness but is He getting US? Are we fellowshipping with Him? Does He have our quality time.... come to think of it does He have ANY of our time? Can we even hear His voice in the midst of our activities and restless strivings?

As I look into His word I see that He calls us apart, unto Himself, to rest with Him, lie on His breast and be at peace.
Only now do I see and accept God's purposes in these conditions and restrictions placed upon me. I have resented my inactivity, my enforced resting....but now I am beginning to rejoice in it. Not because of it or for it but IN IT. I see that God has brought me to a place with Him where I am required to 'come apart', 'rest', 'wait patiently' and 'trust'.
I considered myself and my life blessed when I enjoyed good health and boundless energy......this does not even begin to compare with the blessings He has now bestowed upon me in this chronic condition which I believe He has allowed into my life to achieve His own purposes - ultimately to draw me apart into a closer relationship with Him.
How I resented my sleeplessness night after night - but He has brought me to see it as time that I can spend with Him - while all the town sleeps He and I can commune with no distractions.
In the stillness of night I have enjoyed renewed fellowship with Him - recommitting my life to Him and seeking Him in a way I haven't done in years.
This has NOT been an overnight revelation.... I am stubborn, rebellious, slow to accept change, reluctant to move from my comfort zone, and...... it would appear I have hearing difficulties - the Lord must speak loud and slowly to me.....perhaps it's just that my ears and my heart have been so long closed to His voice. But bless the Lord o my soul! HE KNOWS ME better than I know myself and He is patient! I have been slow to respond but He has been patient with me...and in this very period of my life has brought me to His best for me.

Can YOU hear His voice, is He calling you apart?
I now believe this is His purpose for me - if fibromyalgia is His way of getting me to come and settle at His feet, rest awhile with Him, hear His voice, put my trust only in Him, then I have to say.... 'so be it Lord' and thankyou for YOUR plans and I leave YOU to work them out in YOUR way.

FOR ME .....a poem

- FOR ME -
I never stood and watched
As He was scourged and beat,
I never drove the nails
Into His hands and feet.

I didn't plait the thorns
That made that mocking crown,
I wasn't at the cross
When they took His body down.

I didn't see the soldier
As he checked if he had died,
I never sealed the tomb
Or stood on guard outside.

And yet it was my sins
That nailed Him to that tree -
God sent His only Son
To bleed and die for me.

by.....
- Linda Sloan -

WHATSOEVER.....

You know how we nag on and on and on until we get someone's attention and finally get our message through...I'm sure we've all done it. And you know, our Heavenly Father does it too, in the most amazing, loving and patient manner.
I have long and often thought of the words of Philippians 4 v 8 and oftentimes they spring to mind just when I need to 'lift' my thoughts a little higher....
Over the past while I seem to be meeting these words on a regular basis and I always know this is God bringing His word to my attention.
I've encountered them over and over again in your various writings in Living Whole - thankyou LW for being God's messenger to me.....
I have not gone a day without being confronted with them in the past 4-5 days....
I quoted them to a dear friend just today - encouraging her to keep her mind off the negative aspects creeping into her mind and directing her to those things she CAN focus her praise on .....
Another friend quoted them to me today when explaining how he sets his mind at the start of each day...
Jonathan has just now come home from 'New Horizon' (an annual NI summer seminar) with the theme this year 'ENJOYING GOD', and has been relating the teachings of Don Carson to me. Yes, you guessed it... 'Whatsoever things.....'
......THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY CERTAINLY GETS MY ATTENTION.......

O how I love the Lord and His patience with me...
How He encourages me in the best paths in life, even my thoughtlife...
How He steers me in the ways I can best enjoy Him....

Oh Lord, I thankyou for bringing me to Living Whole and for your faithful children here who minister your Word as sweet balm to our spirits. Keep my mind fixed on you Lord, that my thoughts may be ever occupied only with those things that are true and honest and just and pure and lovely and of good report and worthy of virtue and praise. Lord YOU alone are ALL these things, keep my mind fixed on YOU.

SLEEPING PILLS

I guess you all know what I'm talking about when I mention sleepless nights. A decent night's sleep is a rarity for me....in fact a decent night's sleep still includes waking about three times during the night. Jonathan goes to bed and sleeps the night through... every night! When he gets up in the morning he doesn't know where he'll find me or what I've been up to during the night....

This past weekend has been our annual public holiday weekend and we've been off work Monday and Tuesday so it has been a welcome break from the routines. We always take my parents out for the day on the first day of the holiday so yesterday we had a full day in Donegal - weather was fab and everyone was nicely relaxed after all the busyness of recent weeks. We got home and, since I hadn't managed an afternoon nap I was exhausted so got to bed 8.30, did some reading and reckon I was asleep by 9.30 - 10pm. I woke at 12.40, went to the bathroom and thought 'this is it!...I'll never get back to sleep!'

I lay and thought of all my wonderful new friends at Living Whole....
I pictured you all in my mind.....
Thought of all the things I now know about you.....
And I prayed for EACH one of you.....

And went to sleep :) GOD IS GOOD!

BURST FORTH FOR GOD

The wonders of nature have always fascinated and never cease to amaze me and speak to me of the MIND of our God behind creation. I know it is incredible to our puny minds to consider that God SPOKE the word and it was....He SPOKE this world into being. Awesome thought!

Just take time as you ponder nature and consider the Creator behind it all - the diversity of colors, textures, shapes, scents - surely our God is the Master Designer. Look closely into even just a small variety of flowers and see and feel the contrasting designs. I am also fascinated by what we call 'weeds' and 'wildflowers' - each design unique and with a beauty of their own.

Let me share with you something that has intrigued me over the past few years......

Are you familiar with the flowers IMPATIENS, commonly known as BUSY LIZZIE? I love them....they adorn hanging baskets, garden tubs, window boxes and borders and fill them with color all summer long. They come in a vast array of color - pinks, purples, corals, whites, reds, oranges. They are just a simple little flower though and it is in their masses that they are really striking.

What I find most intriguing is what happens when they 'go to seed'.....

The petals fall off, the little inner centre of the flower produces the seeds and swells and swells and swells...
I have been dead-heading these little beauties and I have actually jumped back in surprise when I accidentally touch one of these new seed pods. When it is touched it BURSTS open, the whole pod coiling back like a spring motion and the seeds scattering with such force. Such is God's design for spreading the seeds and ensuring the continued production of this little species.









Oh how often do I feel I have 'gone to seed'... past my best... no longer in full flower... no longer to be of use to God. And yet the mind of God is NOT fickle - He is a consistent God. In HIS hands we can be used of God even though we might feel our day of use is past.

In our chronic conditions we may feel there is little we can do for God - I think Busy Lizzie shows us that we are wrong in that. These little flowers may go to seed - God still designs their final duties - spreading their seed with such authority and precision. Let's not think we are past our usefulness - God still has a work for us to do - it may be very much behind the scenes like praying, encouraging, writing, maybe even just a phone call. Let's keep BUSY for HIM ..... spreading the seed of HIS love.

(The above pictures are from my own Busy Lizzies at the end of this summer - and I think there is even such beauty in the spent seed-pod)

I'm adding this footnote after talking with a dear friend and being impressed of the Lord to share this.....

How often do we feel 'the pressure'?....., we are pushed and pushed and pushed to the edge, we litterally cannot take any more. We know God is in our circumstances but 'WHAT IS HE DOING?' we ask. Perhaps we must go through times when the pressure is turned up, we endure agonies unending, with seemingly no good outcome. God knows JUST what He is doing with us - why He puts us through the struggles and pressures. Perhaps, just like the seed pod, just like the gold in the refiners fire, only at the end of these intense struggles of life do we come forth as pure gold.... or seed ready to be sown for HIS purposes. The journey is never a pleasant one but oh the joy of seeing what we have become in His hands.

REST OR RACE

I believe our two little dogs have been a wonderful gift from the Lord to us....we have no children and they have taken the place of children in our lives. Yes, I know they are dogs but they have been our dependents, our companions, our support through thick and thin. They're getting old now - 15 years old in fact, which is 105 in human years - WOW!


Meet Jojo - she is the 'lady' of the family. Jojo walks in such a regal manner I'll bet my bottom dollar she's got Windsor blood in her! And boy, does she know how to rule! Until the past year or so, when Jonathan wasn't around Jojo made sure I knew SHE was the boss....I tried every tip in the book to be dominant but absolutely nothing worked - in fact it was easier to go to work without breakfast most mornings than stay and fight with her! She's always been independant, preferring to go off on her own and sleep behind a chair somewhere - no cuddles wanted here!



Meet Jessie - she's the 'mother' of the family. Looks after everyone, frets if they fret and rejoices if they rejoice. Although sisters, Jessie has been the mother to Jojo, daily washing her eyes and ears. Jessie is the fun one, the one who would make you chase her round the garden if she had to come in, would do absolutely anything to please and would never even think of being disobedient. She's the one who needs the cuddles, the nursing, sleeping with you, lying in the crook of my arm, or even the back of my knee like that's just where she belongs and, although timid in nature herself and very easily frightened, she is the one who will step in to protect you.



Jojo is deaf now - still very much a little loner but looking for those hand signals now, watching your face for signs of what's happening next - eyes alert to every move.

I THINK (a poem)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I THINK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I wake to the sweetest birdsong, as all creation greets the morn
And I think of the love of Jesus, how through Him I've been re-born.

I walk in the country laneway, the hedgerows are vibrant green
And I think of those early days, when my heart was new and clean.

I dip in the gentle waters of the stream with its healing flow
And I think of how He cleansed me on that night so long ago.

I gaze on majestic mountains, reaching up to Heavens high
And I think of my loving Saviour, how for me He chose to die.

I marvel at fiery sunsets, setting the sky aglow
And I think of the warmth in my heart since God's love I came to know.

I think of my wonderful Saviour, I think of His love for me,
I think how He came from Heaven, and from sin He's set me free.

ANOTHER NEW MONTH

We are now in November - a new month, new start, new promises to myself and fresh chances and opportunties from the Lord. Each month I suppose I make fresh promises to myself - I will be more disciplined, more consistent in my relationship with the Lord, with my friends, with my family. Each month I let myself down, more importantly I let the Lord down. And yet....HE IS FAITHFUL. He has brought me to another month, has allowed me another time to commit afresh. I'm praying this month will be different - that I will take on board the mistakes of the past, recall to mind the benefits I reap from walking with the Lord in a consistent manner, and go ALL OUT to live FOR Him and WITH Him. He is ever faithful, I can trust Him not to let me down......let me not fail Him.

MAGNETISM

I suffer from fibromyalgia and for the most part try to continue with normal life, including working until 3pm Monday to Friday. I have been able to achieve this mainly due to the wonderful help my husband has been to me. He has taken on many of my household chores and works uncomplainingly in the house.

Last month we returned from holiday and since then I have enjoyed the most wonderful spell of renewed energy. A few days before returning home from our trip I was finding I had more energy than usual, not having to lie down to rest in the afternoons. Following our return home I had the energy and enthusiasm to prepare a decent meal, bake bread and go for walks. This continued over the next weeks and I have to say my spirits were high.

Last Wednesday I attended our ladies bible study (a home group of 10 ladies)......
Q... If you would like, take a few minutes to come up with some creative language (poetic imagery or a word picture) that helps capture how you feel about drawing close to God. Put your words in the form of a prayer to God.

My answer.... 'Father draw me, as a magnet's invisible force, compel me to come to you. I know where my safety and surety is - I know where I find rest and peace - I want to abide in You Lord. What doth hinder me? Reveal it to me Father and show me how You would bring me to You. I want to abide in You Lord. Amen'

On Thursday and into Friday I felt it..... arms and legs numb and asleep, fatigue, nausea, irritable bowel, temperature extremes, headache, widespread pains, stiffness.....
Yes, God had answered my prayer. No, I didn't particularly like His answer. Yes, I do get the message.

It is IN this condition that God draws me to Himself....compels me to come to Him. My eyes are opened - I am looking for God - seeking His will - searching His purposes.

I have openly confessed in the past that this fibromyalgia brought me into a new, deeper and more meaningful relationship with my Savior. I do think these past weeks of relief from symptoms have served as a voice of confirmation of that from the Lord. In this misery of pain I am drawn to the Lord, I MUST come to Him, seek His company, His comfort and His reassurances that HE has HIS plans and HIS purposes - for my life and all that comes within it.

Yes, God did answer that prayer of mine - He has drawn me to Himself as with a magnet's compelling force.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

Am amazed that I have not posted here since end of July - what have I been up to?
So much going on and I suppose 'fighting fibro-in faith' has just taken a back seat. I have been spending more time and fellowshipping with the wonderful people at Living Whole - I find each of them to be such an encouragement and inspiration to me.

I had found it difficult to see how I could post at LW and here - I think I am seeing past that now and probably will begin posting here again.

We have just returned from a wonderful 2 week (almost) holiday in Slovenia, so I suppose I may start there, posting some pics of our memory-making along the way.....what a country it is!

PERSONAL

A few verses from the song titled 'PERSONAL' by Joanne Hogg

Much of what I've sung before
Seemed to be more in my head
But now I feel the difference
I'm singing in my heart, singing in my heart instead.

For winter has been and gone
Springtime has come
Love's been awakened in me
And You're the One
You're the One.

How do I put into words
What Your love is like
It's like Father love and Mother love
All rolled into one.

The Lover that You are to me
The Friend You have become
You're the place I find my rest
How do I describe what is so personal.

When I first heard this song my mind went back to the time of first knowing the Lord - the cold winter of not belonging had been and gone, springtime had come. I knew for the first time the warmth of the love of God and my heart was alive in Him.

As I became more familiar with the song and as the Lord was speaking to my heart He awakened me to see that even as His children we can still experience the cold chills of winter. A season when the earth is still, days are dark, the sky is heavy and all looks bleak. A season when we see so little sunshine or warmth to cheer and take the edge off those chills that blow.

And yet, how do we view winter? What is our outlook in this season of darkness and heaviness of heart? Do we doubt the sun will ever shine again? Have we seen our last skipping lambs in the fields? Heard the last young birds chirp relentlessly for food? Seen the last golden daffodil head sway in the breeze?
No, as sure as winter comes, the days begin to lighten again and spring follows.... the earth brings forth her new life again.

In our seasons of spiritual winter how do we fare? Do we brace ourselves against the storms, confident that they too will pass and that we are safe in the shelter of our loving Saviour? We do not experience seasons of winter without reason. Is God drawing us aside, allowing us a season of coolness that we might burst forth with new life and renewed vigour in Him? IN HIM. He is our security, our shelter, our refuge, our hiding place, WHATEVER the season. HE CHANGES NOT.

Love's been awakend in me....I'm singing in my heart.

ONE DAY

- ONE DAY -

How can my eyes not look....to Heaven and see Your face?
That face that looks upon me...with smiles of purest grace.

How can my hands not touch...Your heart which feels such pain?
That heart so full and tender...which called me long in vain.

How can my tongue not taste...the sweetness of Your love?
That love which knows no measure...on earth or Heaven above.

How can my ears not hear...those chords of sweet refrain?
That melody of worship...as angels praise Your name.

'The day dear one is coming...when you shall see and touch and taste
As you gather with My angels...and gaze into My face.'

HONOUR THE LORD

Awoken again in the night hours.....

I've been concerned for what a friend is going through in her Christian walk... things are such that I think she is realising that belonging to the Lord does NOT mean that life suddenly just falls into place. Things don't JUST start going right in all areas of our lives....and yes... I do feel for her. I have been there and I know I will be again - that is life. That is also Christian life - God promised us eternal life - He never promised us immunity from the trials of THIS life, here and now. Yes, eternal life awaits but we have this life to get through first - if this is our preparation for life with our Lord in eternity we have MASSIVE responsibilities.

I pray for her and then I text her as I feel the need to share with her from 1 Samuel 2 v 30.... 'him that honours me, I will honour'.

God WILL honour us but note that the condition in the promise is placed first on us. God requires first place in our lives. We KNOW God keeps His word so, if we make a promise to Him or a condition we can be assured He WILL hold us to it. Why shouldn't He...why should He expect any less of us than He is prepared to offer us?

Yes, I know she has prayed and 'bargained' with her Lord... He requires full cooperation in return. He is a faithful God - we must be faithful servants worthy of our Master.

I trust and pray to God that she accepts my counsel as from the Lord and in the spirit of prayer and I thank you Lord for Your word, even to my own heart in this.

HOME ALONE

Sunny warm evening, great company, super gourmet meal....what more could we ask for?

Our girls are tucked in bed just quietly awaiting our return.....or so we think !

Who knows what they get up to when we're out. You know we used to laugh together when we were in a restaurant.... children would be playing up, causing havoc and giving their parents no peace to enjoy their meal. We would say, 'Oh well, nothing to worry about, our girls are home in the garage'.

Just look what we came home to on Wednesday evening. Jessie is persistent in trying to prise the lid off the bin. She pulls and bites at the overhang of the plastic bin-liner - she knows now that if she gets it just right it works.... too much bite and she tears the bag, just enough pressure and the lid pops up. Boy, has she perfected it!

Wednesday evening we arrived home...lid was off the bin...the bin was still upright so she had actually reached into the bin for every item and lifted it out. I assume Jojo just stood by and awaited the spoils, this is her usual form - much too ladylike to get HER paws dirty!

Did they have a feast! Wrapping foil was licked CLEAN of all traces of wedding cake icing and cream, inside of a dog food tin was spotlessly clean as far down as their little snout could reach, and fruit peelings had disappeared.

Oh, don't we wish we had a security camera set up? What viewing that would make! So much for being tucked up in bed!

BIBLE STUDY

I am amazed at how the Lord opens doors. I continue to rejoice in His move in the heart of someone who would have been just an aquaintance....He has given me a burden for her and a real desire to reach out to her, as I see her seeking Him and desiring to have Him in her life.

What responsibility is mine! I ask that the Lord will equip me for the task which I believe He is calling me to. I admire her openness and willingness to share her heart with me and pray that the Lord would keep me close to Him - that this study we plan will be HIS work - nothing of me.

Guide us Lord as we make decisions on what to study and thank you for bringing her THIS far..... but take us ALL THE WAY.

HAPPY WEDDING DAY - 30 JUNE 2009

Without a doubt the happiest of days ever. My little sister is now Mrs Smyth (with a 'y'). We have just returned from the most fabulous day....Belfast Castle, the perfect setting on a perfect sunshine day. Everything just planned to perfection....harpist, soloist, jazz band, beautiful food and cake, family, friends, love and happiness in abundance.

Every day should be like THIS day.

Congratulations Barbara and Harry .... I really hope EVERY day of married life will see you as happy and content with life as you both are today.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Has been such a busy time - not so much for me but for the rest of the family. Excitement is mounting as Tuesday 30th June draws near and we are all SO looking forward to Barbara and Harry's wedding. I would just love to be running around doing my bit to help - I just feel so USELESS to everyone. Start of last week was so miserable for me I decided to conserve my energy as much as possible and hopefully be on top form for the big day..... I even gave up a meal out with the girls on Wednesday night and a bbq tonight. Friday was a real busy day at work for me and I really feel I am paying the price - I only hope this is not a flare-up like last week. After shopping today and lunch with Debbie, Barbara and Aunt Barbara I was shattered - almost falling asleep at the table! Have not had a lot of energy tonight and feel too uncomfortable to rest much - just praying for rest and peace in my body and spirit.

I am so very happy for Barbara and Harry - I love them dearly and want them to be happy and fulfilled. When I think what they have both come through in previous years I can only say they deserve happiness and I for one am so pleased they found it in each other - they have been good for one another....and for all of us!

THE SIMPLE WOMAN'S DAYBOOK

FOR TODAY.... Saturday 13th June 2009

Outside my window... this sunny day has turned rainy - thunder and lightning too.

I am thinking... after so much dry weather the past couple of weeks, everything will be so much greener again.... just hope it doesn't rain ALL summer!

I am thankful for.... a husband who truly is all I ever hope for.

I am wearing....blue jeans, black vest top and black and white cardigan, and the obligatory black and white necklace.
I am creating....just been to my first card-making class and have made my first 5 cards - truly inspired to make more.
I am going...to bed soon
I am reading.... 2 Chronicles as part of Living Whole reading plan and 'What's So Amazing About Grace' by Philip Yancey
I am hoping....that I will sleep restfully tonight. Amazed just how exhausted I am after today's class and do hope it won't be a case of 'too tired to sleep'.
I am hearing....the window is open and I hear the traffic outside, wet tyres on the road - I love the sound of traffic when I'm indoors.
Around the house... I want to get some 'corners' tidied and de-cluttered. Estate agent comes on Tuesday for valuation and I want everything ship-shape and impressive...even though I know it won't affect the price!
One of my favourite things....hot, smooth, creamy Cappuccino-hope to have one soon!

A few plans for the week....preparations for Alpha in the Workplace follow-up, some overdue notes to write and post, haircut Wednesday

A picture thought I am sharing....

My darling 'girls' looked like this until Thursday. I took them to a new 'hairdresser' for clipping and bathing - she SHAVED them! O the indignity of it... Jojo has fared better - she is resilient but poor Jessie has been left traumatised. I am so horrified I will not do the 'after' pictures....maybe in 6 months time!

CARD MAKING

Spent today at my first card-making class. I've never been inspired to make my own cards until I recently saw some based on water-colour principles. Today I attended a class solely for this and all 6 of us in the class came away with 5 cards each - work we were all proud of. I was of course the novice - the only one who had never made ANY type of card before! I don't think I will be making my Christmas cards but would like to make a few from time to time.

AS THE DEER

'As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You o God'....Psalms 42 v 1Last Friday was the start of a week of personal mourning - grieving after the 'old me'...the energetic me who did her weeks grocery shopping before heading to start work at 8.30am. The old me who did errands on the way home from work, walked and groomed the dogs, cleaned the house, cooked a meal, did laundry, tended the garden, visited the sick....all in one day! The old me who was 'in control' and on top of, if not ahead of everything. I cannot accept she has gone. I don't know what I am supposed to think. I do keep looking for answers, therapies, cures, solutions. I have NEVER doubted God has plans and purposes and that He IS in control but I am impatient. I want to know and learn the lessons NOW Lord. Last Friday and all weekend was a spell of glorious weather....I did not even have enough energy to sit in the sun.....This Friday I feel alive and rejuvenated - I feel I belong to the world again.We had restaurant reservations for dinner - we cancelled them and had a Friday picnic. I was too weak and disinterested last week to even think about going anywhere and tonight I had energy - I wanted to be out in God's beautiful creation - enjoying the sunshine (though it was cool), the sea, rocks, trees, rabbits and deer.Various places we've travelled all over the years we've seen signs warning of deer crossing - we've looked out for them but NEVER seen them - tonight we saw SEVEN young deer, grazing, running, chasing and just enjoying life...freedom.Lord, I want to be like the deer....my soul panting after YOU...desiring only YOU....depending only on YOU.Is that what makes the difference? Has the Lord brought me so low this week to let me see my need for HIM. If I don't have Him I have nothing. I want to enjoy freedom in You Lord.Ha....I have just checked the meaning of seven - it just struck me there may be a significance in God showing me seven deer tonight.....'seven' from the Hebrew 'shevah' meaning 'to be full or satisfied, have enough of'.... my goal should be to be filled, my life filled with God alone.....Lord, I do not know what has made the difference in the PHYSICAL from one Friday to another.....but I do want to experience the difference in the SPIRITUAL when my life is filled with YOU alone. Father help me take my mind off the physical and focus on the spiritual - that which is eternal. YOU MAKE THE DIFFERENCE LORD.....make a difference in me. Amen.

FRIDAY PICNIC....

Tonight I felt more energetic and life seems a little more 'normal'. We had booked a restaurant for dinner at 6.30 pm but the evening was beautiful - glorious sunshine and much too nice to spend indoors. I cancelled our table at 5.45 pm .....we hastily put a picnic together and headed out to Murlough Bay....idyllic and tranquil. We even saw some young deer grazing, wild rabbits scuttling around, and just enjoyed the peace and quiet in the fresh outdoors....wonderful and so good to be alive. Life is good... God is good!

ARCHIVES....

Whooppee........I now have archives! Seems sad I know that this would excite me but I really thought blogging would be a one-day wonder for me. It's now a whole month since I started my blog and I must say I have enjoyed the therapy of just committing thought and pictures to print.
I still have only one follower but she is special !... thank you Kimberly....I love you :)
It's been an incredible couple of weeks too since I linked up with Living Whole - you ladies are an inspiration and I look forward to getting to know more of you.

I have a friend who once described the internet and all the evil therein as 'www...world wide wickedness' - thankyou Lord for steering me to the little corner whose vision is 'world wide wholeness'.

IN THE NIGHT HOURS...

This time last year I was photographing our garden poppies at different stages of flowering and had the most marvellous revelation and encouragement from the Lord. As a result, I just could not wait for this years poppy season....I've been photographing in anticipation of that same encouragement that comes only from the Lord. And how good is our God - He never fails us as we look to Him.

The top photo was taken on Thursday evening - the first brillaint poppy was already there in all it's glory. Friday morning I looked out and was greeted by another spectacular bloom. O what a God we have - He never slumbers or sleeps. Without daylight or the warmth of sunshine He brings forth the poppy blooms. If our God can so work in the darkness of night to bring the poppies into full flower, what can He do for us? What can He NOT do? Surely we can leave all in His tender care and await His timing for the unexpected blossoms in our lives.

FRIDAY NIGHT

Have not posted for a whole week....and can't believe feeling I have missed blogging! Is this addictive or what :)
Friday night again and we were so looking forward to another picnic night. Weather fantastic- clear blue skies, brilliant sunshine and the weatherman says a whopping 20 deg! We were all geared for lovely Murlough Bay but I just didn't have the energy. Sat out front for a while but didn't seem to have enough energy to be in the sunshine so we went to the backyard - cannot believe this fibro has reduced me to opting to sit in the shade!....and there we enjoyed our picnic.
Wasn't the most scenic of places, especially since next door has sprung a water leak which is running off their roof and into our yard! Anyhow we had a dry shady spot and just enjoyed each others company - and the picnic and of course we had our two girls looking on and waiting for treats!, so I reckon at the end of the day we were all happy :)

Friday night...

We had the first of our Friday night picnic teas for this summer...

Jonathan had shopped today and when I surfaced from my after-work rest he had our picnic prepared and we were all set to go. Drove to Ballintoy Harbour and just enjoyed the peaceful tranquility, sound of the sea, early evening sunset and the picnic of course :)

Looking forward to many more picnic nights....my favourites!

UNFAILING LOVE

Our ladies' bible study last night on the character of God -

repeatedly reminded of His wonderful, inexhaustable, unmeritted, unconditional, steadfast,UNFAILING love - what a God is ours!

Jesus is in this storm-tossed boat....

I have found when the Lord really wants to get my attention He repeats His message - over and over - what a faithful, patient Father He is.

Yesterday we had a message read at church (Mark Ch 4) - the disciples are in the boat, crossing over to the other side. A storm rises up and Jesus, well He is asleep! Nowhere to be found when He is needed. The disciples call out to Him - here they are using all efforts to keep this boat afloat and He sleeps! The same message was taught on UCB radio in the afternoon and would you believe.....was my scheduled reading for nighttime! I would say God had truly got my attention by now....

How often have I felt as though I've just been cast adrift in the storms of this raging sea - left to battle the waves and winds on my own. I've sought the Lord's help, looked for signs of His presence but He hasn't been there.

'Let US cross over...', Jesus said. The disciples lost sight of the plan - all WOULD be well, they WOULD arrive safely....not only had Jesus planned their trip, He was with them... they would not go under! So it is with this journey I find myself on. I am not alone, my Saviour has embarked on this journey with me and He knows the route WE will take.

I suppose I feel the same despair the disciples felt when I can't see the Lord's presence and yet I do know He is with me. The disciples experienced the presence, power and deliverance of God in a way that was only possible through this storm - and I believe it is so with me. I am coming to know, and will yet know and experience the power of God in a deeper and fuller way and so I look to Him as we sail this storm together.

You know something....I'd rather have Jesus IN my boat asleep than sail without Him.

Let US cross over, Lord. Amen

To fight or not to fight....?

I titled this blog 'Fighting fibro-In faith'....this past couple of weeks I have wondered at the wisdom of those words....this title was very evidently created during a spell when I was on fighting form and my faith strong. I am presently coming through the worst period of pain and fatigue I have ever experienced. After enduring 10 weeks of sleeplessness (2 hours sleep per night) I have re-started Tahitian Noni Juice (2 weeks ago) and am now sleeping soundly through the night. I am however suffering greatly and feel the need to sleep the clock round - I actually felt less fatigued when I was sleeping two hours each night. (THE MYSTERIES OF FIBRO?) The pain in my shoulders and arms just seems to drag me down, my legs and arms are constantly cramped, my eyes are closing involuntarily and it is impossible to function....the worrying and sad thing is that I don't even want to function - I just feel so low that I don't have the interest.

God has His plans and I HAVE to believe he has planned fibro for me (I do not believe God has sent it but I do believe He has allowed it) ...I don't know why....I have asked why... never the question 'why me?' - more just 'why?' - being for what reason / purpose? I did feel guilty about looking for an answer to the 'why?' but I was encouraged then to read that even our Lord on the cross cried out 'My God, my God, WHY have you forsaken me?' If Jesus, who knew all things, could look for answers then I know God will understand the questionings of my imperfect heart. Lord, grant me patience as I await the unfolding of your plans in my life....

Zzzzzz............

I am updating this post after a peaceful night's sleep - I have woken feeling rested and more refreshed than I have done in the past two weeks. I have been encouraged by the Lord in the night...on occasion He has used the silence and peace of night to whisper to me - those are the times I've been able to be thankful for my sleeplessness. He has taken my mind back to an incident probably 6 or 7 years ago.....

Two gardens down from my back garden I could listen unobserved to a little boy walking and talking with his granddad. The little boy was only two so the pace was slow, but the questions were many, and they were 'why, why, why?' He could ask unashamedly and out of curiousity because he wanted to know - not because he questioned his presence or purpose in his surroundings or that He doubted where granddad was leading him.

God has shown me again that it IS okay to ask questions - to look for reasons - I am HIS child, walking this life with Him, and He understands. I will want to know WHY I am on this particular walk but thank God I am walking it with Him by my side.

I would think that Granddad didn't have all the answers - but I thank God that my Father in Heaven does - and He loves me much more than any earthly father or granddad and is in total control of my circumstances - even in these days when my pace is slow. Thank you for your whisperings to my heart Lord.

MY ROCK

'HE ONLY IS MY ROCK AND MY SALVATION' Psalm 62

My favourite little corner of our garden, although it's not in full bloom yet. I love the colours and how the plants drape themselves around the rock - it's not a rock garden but the plants have meandered around these few rocks, the rock giving shape, structure and purpose to their planting. Makes me think of my ROCK - the Lord Jesus Christ and how I want my life to be shaped around Him. He should be central in my life, the one who shapes and moulds me and gives my days purpose and structure, just in the corner where He has planted me. In these days of pain and fatigue I find it impossible to see any purpose but He knows.... He has a plan....

Linda the Dahlia

A dear friend bought me this little dahlia at the weekend...

such a fitting gift...

not because it's beautiful, fresh, bright, fragrant and sunny...but because it's name is.....

LINDA :)

BIRTHDAY PARTY

Out tonight to Keren's first birthday....

Life is pretty exhausting for me and sometimes I feel guilty when we have to miss out on family things. It was so good to be together tonight for sweet Keren's first birthday - she is such a darling and it is incredible that she is already one year old! Seems no time since her mummy was toddling around and now she has her very own wee family and is doing an excellent job!

Happy birthday Keren :)

Love me, love my dogs

If you know ANYTHING about hubby and me you will know we love our girls - Jessie and Jojo. Our girls are two wonderfully cuddly Lhasa Apsos who have brought us SOOOOO much pleasure, companionship and fun over the past 15 years. We pre-ordered them (before birth) and brought them home at 8 weeks - looking for all the world like 2 real-live cuddly teddy bears and they just won the hearts of everyone they met.

Not only have they been our 'best friends' but they have had much fun with each other - neither ever being quite sure who was in charge - I can assure you it was NEVER me! I've been bottom of the pecking order since they arrived.

Over the years they became affectionately known as 'The Girls' and both readily answered to the call of 'Girls' rather than by name.

Jessie has been the little mother - always looking out for Jojo and being most offended if Jojo ever gets shouted at - which has been pretty often over the years. Jessie must have company and will follow everywhere and loves nothing better that to sleep on the settee, cosied in my arms like a baby :) - so cosy for both of us!

Jojo has been extremely independent - she has always much preferred to wander off to bed on her own, never looking to be nursed, cuddled or petted. Maybe no bad thing - 2 Jessies would have taken a lot of attending to! Jojo very happily beds herself down and allows Jessie to wash her eyes and ears - quite the little lady.

It was such a surprise for us to discover that even dogs have their own identifiable personality - now that's the God of creation!

I have no doubt that our girls will feature heavily in my posts. They are now 15 years old and really showing their years just over the past 12 months.....Jojo is totally deaf but responds remarkably to hand signals, Jessie is almost totally blind but surprises us with her near misses as she runs top speed to ANYWHERE she's headed.

We've had so many fun photos of them over the years and I hope to post them over time.

Love me, love my girls.....

I can almost SMELL the daffodils....can you?

SPRING 2009

My favourite time of year - the sun is actually beginning to shine in this part of the world - it still rains a lot but....it's brighter! The days are longer, time has 'sprung forward' and there are bursts of colour everywhere......snowdrops, crocuses, tulips, daffodils :) Amazing that they all manage to poke their little heads up through snow, frost and bitter cold winds to herald the passing of winter.
How good is our God - even in the darkest of days the flowers are there. We can walk on by and miss their beauty but, they don't stop being there - we've just missed out on an opportunity to enjoy God's wonderful creation. I so enjoyed a recent walk through the 'Daffodil Gardens', an abundance of spring colour, golden heads sparkling in the sunshine and swaying gently in the breeze. O Lord, may I never cease to appreciate the wonder of spring and the miracle of your changing seasons....and encourage me to appreciate the changing seasons in my own life.

Newcomer to blogging!

This really started out as a personal journal/diary in a'word document' but, when looking into blogging I could see the results were much more impressive and attractive than any old 'word document' - and that's why I'm here!
My first blog post - I have been so uplifted and strengthened by the sharing and honesty of others when I visit their blogs that I felt I wanted to get in there too and communicate and hopefully encourage where possible. I have in the past been reluctant to share the limitations forced upon me by this fibromyalgia, almost as though keeping things to myself would make it all a little less real.... I also didn't see how hearing others problems and experiences would help me. I think though, with this 'invisble syndrome' it could help to share with the only ones who could possibly understand - fellow fibro sufferers. So hello blogland, and especially those of you with fibromyalgia or indeed any condition which is imposing restrictions on your life, my name is Linda and I'm a fibro victim! This is my journey....